how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
