He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
