I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
