So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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