Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
