Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
