Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
