a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
