My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
