i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
