Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
