i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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