I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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