He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize