someone get that fucking seahorse.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
