literally had 100 drinks last night.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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