Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
