im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I smell stomach acid.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I enjoy the company of your penis
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