Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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