4 words: hood of his car
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
not ubering you a puppy
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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