one might say we're banned from that church
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
