those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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