I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
