I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
