Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
