glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
