Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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