I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
