Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
