so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
