i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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