Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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