If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dignity is for republicans.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
