Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
