Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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