We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
