No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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