Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
