I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
