I need help removing her.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I will die if light touches me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize