we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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