Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
