Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
