just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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