My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
