Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
