Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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