Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
