I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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