Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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