That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
