Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
