You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
