i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
