Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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