i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
