I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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