you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
