sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
